unjustifiable | 𝙾𝙿𝙴𝙽 / 𝙾𝚅𝙴𝚁𝙵𝙻𝙾𝚆

𝙾𝙿𝙴𝙽 / 𝙾𝚅𝙴𝚁𝙵𝙻𝙾𝚆

Just yourself. I'll take care of everything else.

[ there isn't much to take care of. the costume shop is ten minutes away. he really shouldn't be driving in his condition, but he grabs a quick coffee to sober up and tells himself that it's fine — hardly the worst thing he'll do tonight, anyway. he hits nothing but green lights and returns eighteen minutes later with something lurid and polyester tucked under one arm. they didn't have nurse costumes in men's sizes, so adam will have to make do with a tight fit. james certainly won't complain.

after that, all he has to do is a bit of tidying up. he clears away the remains of last night's reheated dinner, brushes his teeth, splashes water on his face. nothing in the house immediately gives away the fact that he's married. all of his and mary's photographs and keepsakes are gathering dust in the master bedroom. he's taken to sleeping in the guest room lately. he sleeps better in there.

when he answers the door, he looks normal. presentable. if his hands shake a little, what of it? ] Hey. Glad you could make it.

[ he doesn't know how he's supposed to act, so he tries to greet adam like he would any other acquaintance. it's more difficult than he thought it would be. he can't stop thinking about what they're about to do. ] Uh. Why don't you come in?

cool

[ he doesn't need to say anything else. james' place is a bit far - in a much, much nicer neighbourhood than what adam is used to - but his half-busted bike gets him there with a few minutes to spare. he spends the extra time catching his breath and trying to straighten out his clothes, which is futile given that they're permanently wrinkled from their home in a heap on the floor of adam's shitty apartment.

ah, well, whatever. he's going to be taking them off soon enough.

the house is a little imposing, but adam ignores the feeling it gives him as he walks up and knocks. when it opens he smiles instinctively, his young face a little more flushed than usual thanks to the ride over - he's pretty out of shape, despite how skinny he looks. ]

Hey. Thanks.

[ the awkwardness radiates off of james so powerfully it infects adam a little; he stumbles as he steps over the threshold, then tries to play it off with a self-deprecating laugh. after toeing off his shoes he shoves his hands in the pockets of his well-worn jeans and looks around a little, eyebrows raising. ]

Nice place you've got here.

[ too big for just one person - but he's not about to mention that. ]

[ james steps aside to let adam through the door. he keeps the porch light turned off — doesn't want the neighbors talking — so he doesn't get a good look at adam until he steps into the entryway. when he does, james nearly panics.

he's just a kid. jesus christ. james struggles to keep his shock from showing on his face for the few seconds it takes for him to realize that adam is, in fact, a grown man, just a very pale and skinny one. it makes him look younger, and his youth makes what they're doing feel even more wrong. james shouldn't like it. he doesn't like it.

he likes it. ]

I, uh — watch your step. [ he moves to help adam over the threshold, then thinks better of it. doesn't want to come on too strong. ] Thanks. Main room's right down the hall.

[ the house, now twice-mortgaged, is a relic of better times. he and mary bought it when they still had a future to look forward to. then she got sick, and the medical bills started coming in, and they never stopped coming in. james needs to sell the place if he wants to have any chance of climbing out of the financial hole he's in, but he's afraid to break the news to mary. she wanted to raise a family here.

he offers adam a seat on the rather dated sofa, feeling self-conscious. he's acutely aware of adam's worn clothing, his clear discomfort with being in a house like this. it makes james feel like he's taking advantage. and he is. he loathes himself for it, but not enough to stop. ]

Can I get you anything? Something to drink, maybe? [ he forces himself to quit stalling. the costume's cellophane packaging crinkles in his hand. ] Or would you rather go ahead and...?

[ malnourishment goes a long way, but in truth adam looks young because he is young. not a teenager by any means, but still early enough in life to be free of the physical signs that come with maturity - most notably, the innocence that hasn't left his eyes just yet.

he follows the instructions, glancing around curiously at the photos and little decorations dotting the space. it feels a lot cozier than a bachelor pad should, and adam wonders briefly if someone else lives here, too.

if, maybe, that someone isn't here for a reason - a reason that has to do with the way james seems so hesitant in admitting what he wants.

he sits, sinking in to the sofa and suddenly feeling much smaller than he did only a moment ago. truthfully, he'd be pretty easy to take advantage of like this, and that thought turns him on more than it should.

his eyes dart to the package james is holding and he lets out a soft laugh once again, not quite believing they're actually going through with this. ]

Yeah, let's... here. [ he reaches out for the costume, meeting james' gaze with what he hopes is a reassuring smile. he hasn't mentioned it but the house smells pretty strongly of booze, to say nothing of james himself; it's obvious that this poor guy is going through it tonight. better to skip the pleasantries. ]

[ james keeps glancing at the door, as though he were afraid that mary might come home and catch him in the act of breaking his wedding vows. it's a nervous tic; he isn't even consciously aware of it. how could he be? his conscious mind is entirely preoccupied with the (young, vulnerable, fragile) man on his sofa.

he awkwardly hands off the costume and takes a seat next to adam. it should probably bother him that they're surrounded by reminders of his other half — the floral curtains that mary picked out, her piano gathering dust in the corner of the room — but all he can think about is getting adam out of those clothes. ]

The bathroom's down the hall and to the left, if you'd like to change in private. [ it's a silly thing to say, given the circumstances, and it's rendered even more ridiculous by the presence of his hand on adam's upper thigh. funny — he always let mary be the one to initiate. he was always gentle with her, no matter how rough he wanted to be.

maybe it's time he does what he wants for a change. he gives adam's thigh a squeeze. adam is bound to smell the booze on him, but he doesn't care. it's too late for either of them to back out. ] Or maybe you'd like for me to help you.

[ seeing a guy acting this nervous despite clearly being pretty intoxicated should worry adam more than it does. but he's come this far; if he really needed to defend himself, he probably could. james might be older, but he doesn't look that much stronger, and besides - adam isn't afraid to fight dirty, if it comes to that.

it also seems more like the nerves come from the fact that this could very likely be the first time james has ever tried anything with another man, and adam can't help but be a little sympathetic.

and... well. okay. he's really into the idea of what they're going to do, to the point where his sense of self-preservation has basically gone out the window. by the time james sits next to him and squeezes his thigh there's a noticeable tent in his jeans, loose as they are.

or maybe you'd like for me to help you james offers and, fuck, adam can't really say no, can he? he'd assumed he'd be changing in private but now that the costume is in his hands and James' body heat is right next to him, that seems like a stupid idea. ]

Yeah, [ he says, soft and breathy, not taking his eyes away from the other man's face. ] I'd like that.

[ glancing down at the costume, he swallows; this is really happening. then, slowly - not wanting james to think he's scared him off or anything - he stands once more, leaving the package where he'd been sitting and stepping into the space between james' legs. he reaches down to curl his fingers around the hem of his t-shirt, lifting the white fabric and exposing his pale upper body. his ribs stick out a little but he's got some muscle, mostly around his shoulders and arms, from holding his camera for long periods at a time.

as the shirt comes off his drops it on the floor, eyes seeking out james once again, looking for some kind of feedback. is this okay? is he going too fast? too slow? it's not his first time, but he hasn't exactly messed around in this way before, with costumes and roleplaying and all that. he wants james to like it. ]

[ if anyone asked james if he'd ever do anything with another guy, his answer (if sober) would be an emphatic no. he doesn't swing that way. he might have looked once or twice, but looking doesn't mean anything.

once, after making his usual walk of shame to the smut section of the local 24 hour corner store, he saw something strange mixed in with the other porno mags. on the cover was a man: naked, bound and gagged. he looked helpless and afraid, like he'd been put in that position against his will. it was staged, of course, but it touched something deep and dark within him all the same. he went home empty-handed that night, too ashamed to face the cashier, but he kept thinking about the cover of that magazine.

now there's a flesh-and-blood man in his house, and this isn't just some idle fantasy anymore. james is afraid — not just of betraying mary, but of what he might do to adam — yet the fear is nothing in comparison to the bottomless carnal hunger that's harried him for longer than he prefers to remember, wearing down his resolve like water wears down stone.

he watches adam undress like a starving animal slavering over a piece of meat. he could hardly make eye contact before, but now he stares without shame: his eyes rove over adam's shoulders and chest, down to his belly, then lower still. he's hard, and he does nothing to hide it.

adam pauses, and james realizes belatedly that he ought to do something besides stare. he stands — a tad gingerly — and reaches out to ease adam's zipper down. they're close enough that his erection presses against adam's hip, and james can't stop himself from grinding against him. ] Is this too much? Or can I keep going? [ whatever's left of his conscience compels him to be honest about what he wants. to give adam one final out. ] After this, I, uh — I won't stop. Not even if you ask me to. Not unless you do what we talked about. [ by which he means the safe word. ]

[ it's not until adam takes off his shirt that he sees the look on james' face and realizes just how desperate the older man is. he really is all the way in the closet, huh? a shiver runs down his spine as those hungry eyes trail over his body and he has to bite back a soft sound of excitement.

he doesn't admit it often, but the thought of a man more powerful than him, living a cushy life, ready to pay to fulfill whatever fucked up fantasies he's got - it turns adam on to a painful degree. maybe part of it comes from his own desperation: he rarely has any extra money, and he's seriously considered seeking out a sugar daddy once or twice. his pride always gets in the way, though.

but as soon as james brought up the idea of adam performing in front of the camera, it sparked something in his brain that's grown and grown in the hours between then and now. and, as james stands, as his erection presses rough and unabashed against adam's thigh, he lets go of whatever hesitation remains in his system. ]

It's okay, [ he breathes out, shaking his head a little. ] I don't want you to stop. Except, um --

[ he glances over to where he'd left his backpack leaning against the couch, then back at james. ]

I brought --

[ deciding it'll just be easier to show rather than tell, he leans over a little awkwardly to rifle through his bag. he really didn't bring much - mostly just a change of clothes - but there's one small extra he threw in just before coming over.

leaning upright once again, he raises the item so that james can see it clearly: it's a small disposable camera, the kind you usually take to a drugstore to get the film developed. ]

I figured I should, y'know. Try out that stuff you were talking about. [ he swallows, offering the camera to james. ] You don't gotta, but like, if you want - you can take some pictures of me. Wearing... y'know.

[ james stares at the little hunk of plastic in adam's hand like he's never seen a camera before. he wonders, a touch hysterically, which one of them is more fucked up. he'd have to be stupid to agree to this. a clandestine meeting is one thing, but hard photographic evidence could ruin his life. not that he has much of one anymore. ] Oh. That's —

[ a terrible idea. but doesn't he like those? and doesn't he like dirty pictures, too? he could take his own, just like the ones in the magazines, only better. more real. ]

Yeah. I'll do it. [ he takes the camera from Adam's hand. his mouth is bone dry. he's so hard it hurts. he wonders if adam cries easily. that would make for a pretty picture. ] Take your pants off. Underwear too.

[ he'd like nothing more than to simply rip off adam's clothes and be done with it, but he checks the impulse. adam doesn't give the impression that he has the money to replace them. james vents his frustration on the costume packaging instead. inside the clear plastic is a lurid little white and red ensemble. it's clearly not a real nurse's uniform — the skirt is far too short and the neckline far too low — but it's perfect for what he has in mind. ] Hope you can squeeze into this. I bet it'll look cute on you.

[ adam hadn't given much thought to what, specifically, would be in the photos; he just assumed it was a good opportunity to see whether or not he was into the idea that james had presented him with. if he looks good, if the photos seem like they'll sell, then why not?

adam doesn't have much to lose, either.

james still sounds kind but the commanding nature of his words trigger adam's deepest instincts and he listens without hesitation, stepping back a little in order to take off the remainder of his clothing. his jeans drop easily enough, barely held up on his narrow hips, but he shows a bit of hesitation in getting his briefs off - though the tent in the front makes it clear that he's very into everything that's happening.

he sheds them as james tears the costume out of its packaging, his eyes immediately gluing themselves to the fabric that's revealed. cheap, small, clearly from a sex shop - it feels kind of disgusting, being so turned on about wearing it. that feeling just makes him want it more. ]

Thanks,

[ he says, eyes flicking momentarily to james' face before back down as he takes the costume from the other's grasp. after a moment he figures out what's supposed to go where and he tugs it on: it's more of a tight dress than a uniform. the chest fits fine but the skirt wraps tight around him, creating a very explicit scene: he absolutely cannot hide his dick completely beneath it. he tries his best nonetheless, crossing his legs a little and tugging self-consciously at the hem. ]

Is this - do I look okay?

[ james doesn't even pretend not to stare at adam as he finishes undressing. he's never seen a strip tease like this before. there are no threatics, no forced coquettishness or false modesty, just a vulnerability that seems raw and real. he likes this far better than anything he's ever paid to see at a club. it's all he can do not to palm his cock through his jeans.

the costume doesn't quite fit adam. the effect is to turn an already-skimpy outfit into something downright pornographic. james offers no assistance as adam tries to preserve what little remains of his modesty; he just stands there with his eyes glued to the other man's dick. his remaining doubts about his ability to actually go through with this — sex with another man, that is — swiftly evaporate. ]

You look good. [ he can't manage anything more descriptive than that. he moves abruptly behind adam, effectively pinning him against the sofa. despite his obvious state of intoxication, he's steady on his feet. he's accustomed to operating under the influence. ] Too good. They really let you come to work dressed like this?

[ it's awkward at first, slipping into his role, but the feeling passes quickly — maybe because this isn't really a game. not for james. these urges aren't something he can turn off, no matter how much he might like to.

he takes a step forward, closing what little space remains between them. another half step, and he's practically rutting against adam's ass, breath hot on the back of his neck. ] It's obscene. [ he circles one arm around adam's waist, then uses his other hand to fumble with his zipper. ] Maybe someone ought to teach you a lesson.

[ the stare is intense and unrelenting, enough that adam finds himself ducking his head in embarrassment. as much as it turns him on to be ogled like that it's also a little overwhelming; very few people have ever looked at him with such pure and obvious hunger. it leaves him feeling small, like a mouse quivering in front of a tiger, completely defenseless yet unable to run away.

when james moves adam inhales sharply, his shoulders forming a tense line as the other man disappears from his line of sight. he can feel the difference in their heights still, can tell roughly where james' mouth is based on the heat of his breath against his skin. and then --

They really let you come to work dressed like this?

-- just like that, they're doing it. it doesn't take much for adam to feel exactly the way he should, like a nurse who's been cornered by some dangerous pervert.

the press of james' erection against the back of the dress draws a sharp little sound out of adam's throat, and as soon as that arm wraps around his waist he starts to struggle against the hold - not with all of his strength, but enough to show that he's trying to escape. ]

What are you doing-?

[ the movement of his body has the side effect of his ass rubbing further against james' crotch, and his chest arches outwards as he continues: ]

S-stop it!

Edited 2025-10-30 00:34 (UTC)

[ when he and mary were dating, james always tried to be a gentleman. he wanted to show her that he was nothing like those other guys — the kind who only wanted one thing, who would take what they wanted from her and move on to the next girl. he was better than that. he respected her. he loved her.

but now mary is out of sight and out of mind, and james doesn't feel like being a gentleman anymore. adam's struggling brings out something primal in him, all the more powerful for his efforts to suppress it. this is what he wants. this is what he's always wanted. as he tightens his grip around adam's waist, savoring the other man's obvious distress, he wonders why he bothered to put up a front for so long. ]

You can't get away. [ he practically croons the words in adam's ear, his nervousness long gone. after fumbling with his zipper for what feels like a small eternity, he finally manages to free his cock. he roughly shoves it between adam's thighs, hiking up his skirt to give him easier access. it's strange to feel his cock rub against another man's balls, but it's not an entirely unpleasant sensation. ]

Who do think you're fooling, anyway? I know you want this. You're asking for it, dressed like that. [ he gropes adam's cock with his free hand, then gives it a slightly hesitant pump. he's touched himself like this plenty of times, but doing it to someone else takes a bit of practice. he tries again, squeezing adam a bit harder this time. ] You sluts are all the same.

[ adam doesn't know what part of this is more fucked up: the fact that there's a guy who wants it bad enough to go this far, or the fact that adam himself is so incredibly turned on by it. he's never been in a relationship like this - never had sex like this: angry, painful, ashamed. but all those feelings mix together in his gut along with a sense of panic that doesn't feel entirely fake and adam, for better or worse, loves it. ]

Stop!

[ his voice is louder now, more shrill, that panic seeping in. james is strong despite the fact that he's drunk and adam likes that, too; likes the idea of being overpowered by him. he struggles some more, putting actual effort in now that he knows he won't simply break free, and when he feels james shove his cock against his thighs adam lets out a sharp cry of distress. ]

Stop it-!! I don't --

[ his voice cuts off as james grabs at his cock. it's clearly not meant to be pleasurable, but that in and of itself is a turn-on: being used, his body little more than a perverted sort of doll designed just to be abused. he stops trying to pull away and instead starts to squirm, pressing his thighs together in an attempt to make himself small. it has the unfortunate side effect of trapping james' dick in the cleft of adam's ass, meaning he's effectively jerking the other off even as he continues his attempts to resist. ]

Get the fuck off of me!

[ his hands move, one going to to clutch at james' wrist in an attempt to pull him off, the other reaching behind himself blindly to hit at any part of the other man he can reach. they hadn't really discussed violence like this but it feels too natural not to; besides, adam isn't exactly in a position to do any real damage. ]

[ when morning comes, james will hate himself for this. but morning is still far away, and all the things that its sober light will render ugly and grotesque look pretty damn good to him right now. for the first time in what feels like forever, he's doing exactly what he wants.

adam's struggling turns him on. it feels real, raw in a way that his and mary's lovemaking never did. he ruts shamelessly into adam's clenched thighs, roughly jerking him off as he does so. he didn't bother to slick his hand with anything, which must make the friction painful. he feels himself get harder at the thought. adam's protests help, too. ] Hush. Hold still.

[ the hand around his wrist isn't exactly unexpected — he did tell adam to fight back, after all — but the glancing blow to his shoulder draws out something buried deep within him, something low and nasty and vile.

suddenly, this isn't a game anymore. ]

I thought I fucking told you to hold still.

[ his hand finds adam's throat with unsettling ease. he doesn't even have to think about it. he squeezes. not hard enough to crush anything important, but hard enough to make his displeasure known. his other hand keeps jerking adam off — not to give pleasure, but to violate. his cock presses hard into the cleft of the other man's ass, searching for an entry. ] You're just a hole. Understand? You don't get a say in this.

[ adam's well aware of the power the dark holds over most people. someone who seems kind and innocent can quickly transform into a monster once the sun goes down. he's long past judging what those monsters do; these days, he really just cares about getting paid. so, despite the fact that what james is doing is unquestionably fucked up, he doesn't blame the man for wanting it. if anything, it's better that he asked adam to play this scenario out, rather than going after someone who truly doesn't want it.

that being said - the rough, crude way james is jerking at adam's cock makes him feel debased, the pain stronger than the pleasure it brings him. when those fingers grab his neck and go tight adam gasps, loud and panicked, taken completely by surprise. he'd been so focused on fighting to escape that he'd forgotten what james might do in response. ]

St--

[ his voice is cut off, breath wheezing in his windpipe. he quickly realizes that struggling further will make it even harder to breathe and so he settles down somewhat, but his heart is still pounding in his chest.

then he realizes where james' cock is, and what it's trying to do - and that makes a fresh wave of fear wash over adam, raw and real. his eyes widen and his entire body tenses up instinctively, thoughts rushing through his head as he tries to guess what's about to happen. is james really just going to fuck him like this? no prep, no lube? that would be crazy, right?

but he's so ashamed of being into men that he might not realize those things are necessary. maybe he's so used to his wife that he thinks it'll just work the same way, somehow. or maybe he's actually an awful, vile human being who wants to hurt adam for real. whatever the answer, it makes adam start struggling again, not caring about how hard it is to breathe. ]

D-on't -- pl-ease -- !!

[ james is drunk enough that his impulse control his long since flown out the window, along with the better part of conscience, but he retains enough presence of mind to realize that adam's panic isn't fake. he keeps rutting, but he isn't really getting anywhere, and he realizes with the jolt of frustration that this isn't going to be as simple as it looks in porn.

he pulls his cock out from between adam's clenched thighs with a grunt of discomfort, then tries to manhandle him onto the couch. he doesn't release his grip around the other man's throat. wouldn't want him getting away. ] On your back. Spread your legs.

[ there's a bottle of lube in his back pocket, purchased along with the costume. he fumbles for it, cursing under his breath. after what feels like forever, he gets the bottle open and slicks his fingers. ] It'll hurt less if you relax.

[ panic has gripped adam's body so tight that when james suddenly pulls away, he almost falls over. the hand on his throat keeps him upright, though, tight enough for him to choke audibly as his body is pushed down onto the couch. he doesn't have the presence of mind to resist, focusing instead on doing as he's told in order to avoid as much potential pain as possible.

a flash of relief crosses his face when james digs out the lube, just long enough for it to be noticeable. then, somewhat reassured, he sinks back into that panic, harnessing it more consciously now so they can continue this twisted little game of theirs. ]

I don't want to --

[ but his legs fall open anyway, as though he can't help but obey despite his scared expression. his voice comes out tight and scared, still, both hands now reaching up to grasp james' forearm, as if trying to get the man's hand off his throat. the uniform adam's wearing has ridden up considerably now, completely baring him from the hips downward, half-hard cock resting against his belly. then, lower, his hole: on full display, darker than the skin surrounding it, totally vulnerable and ripe for the taking. ]

P-please don't do this, [ he whimpers, looking into james' eyes for the first time since they started pretending. tears have started to cling to his eyelashes, his pupils wide and dark. ]

[ james is too drunk and too oblivious know how close he just came to ruining their little game, but he notices the relief on adam's face when he produces the lube. it vanishes too quickly for him to ascribe much significance to it. then that look of panic returns, and it occurs to james that adam looks very pretty when he's afraid.

he looks pretty when he does what he's told, too. james stares hungrily at his exposed cock and hole, the display made even more obscene by adam's position. james leans forward, inadvertently putting more pressure on adam's throat, and presses a lubed finger into his hole, sliding it in to the second knuckle. the heat of adam's body takes him by surprise: on the outside, he's warm, but on the inside he's almost feverish. james wants more. ]

Beg all you like. I know you want this.

[ he pushes his finger deeper inside, curling the digit upwards slightly. he always wanted to try this with mary, but he never worked up the courage to ask. it seemed degrading, to do something like that to his wife. but now he's with adam, and he has no compunctions whatsoever about degrading him. james watches the tears collect on the other man's eyelashes and wonders how to get him to cry some more. he pulls out his index finger and lightly circles adam's hole, the contact almost teasing, then tries pushing in his index and middle fingers at the same time. ] You feel good.

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𝙾𝙿𝙴𝙽 / 𝙾𝚅𝙴𝚁𝙵𝙻𝙾𝚆

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tysm! :D <3

:3

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