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𝙺𝙸𝙽𝙺𝚂

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𝙳𝙴𝙲𝙰𝙳𝙸𝙰 𝙿𝙴𝚁𝙼𝙸𝚂𝚂𝙾𝙽𝚂

				
				IF YOU REALLY WANT TO SEE MARY, YOU SHOULD JUST DIE. 
 BUT YOU MIGHT BE HEADING TO A DIFFERENT PLACE THAN MARY, JAMES.

			CHARACTER INFO

			■ NAME. James Sunderland

■ AGE. 29

■ GENDER. Male

■ SPECIES. Human

			PLAYER INFO

■ NAME. E. C. 

■ CONTACT. vivisector or PM
			
			CHARACTER PERMISSIONS

■ HUGGING. Yes, though he will most likely react poorly if the initiator is a stranger.

■ KISSING. Yes for 18+ characters. Don't expect him to be any good at it. Anything more than a light peck on the cheek will probably require a good deal of prior build-up in order for him to reciprocate.

			■ FLIRTING. Yes for 18+ characters. Note that he may not reciprocate. If he's into it, he'll likely get flustered.

			■ ROMANCE. Yes. Preference for 21+ characters, with 18+ being the hard line. James carries a great deal of emotional baggage from his marriage and is still in the process of grieving, so any relationship will be extremely slow burn. He also wished to resurrect his dead wife, so he'll probably view the relationship as something akin to an adulterous affair. I should also note that James is from the '90s, and while I don't view him as especially homophobic for the time period, he nevertheless considers himself "straight." Any potential same sex relationship would require him to re-examine his sexuality (which is definitely something that I'm interested in exploring!).

■ SEX. Yes. Preference for 21+ characters. Open to M/F, M/M, and M/NB. Kinks here. I am not comfortable writing smut or sexual content involving characters under the age of 18. This includes interactions in sexually suggestive environments (such as strip clubs or adult entertainment venues) and in places where people might be having sex in public (so, most of Decadia).

			■ FIGHTING. Yes. Note that drawn-out fight scenes are not my strong suit, so please give me a heads up if you want to go in that direction. James is not a trained fighter, but he can defend himself if pressed.

■ INJURY. Yes.

■ DEATH. Yes.

			PLAYER PERMISSIONS

■ BACKTAGGING. Yes.

■ THREADHOPPING. With discussion.

■ FOURTHWALLING. No.

■ OFF LIMITS. Graphic harm to children or animals.

	CODE BY

𝙾𝚅𝙴𝚁𝙵𝙻𝙾𝚆

		 "Looking at this makes me feel like someone's groping around inside my skull..." 
		
	

𝙾𝙿𝙴𝙽 / 𝙾𝚅𝙴𝚁𝙵𝙻𝙾𝚆

𝙲𝙾𝙽𝚃𝙴𝙽𝚃 𝚆𝙰𝚁𝙽𝙸𝙽𝙶𝚂 𝙰𝙽𝙳 𝙾𝙿𝚃 𝙾𝚄𝚃

	
		THIS PAGE CONTAINS STORY SPOILERS FOR SILENT HILL 2.
	
		The following topics are present in James' history and may come up in interactions with him.

Terminal illness, death of a spouse, domestic violence, depression, alcoholism, caregiver burnout, dissociative amnesia, suicidal ideation.

		The following topics are present in Silent Hill 2 but do not directly involve James.

CSA, incestuous abuse, institutional medical abuse, fatphobia/fatshaming, animal cruelty.

	MARY: I told you I wanted to die, James. I wanted the pain to end.

JAMES: That's why I did it, honey. I just couldn't watch you suffer.

JAMES: ...

JAMES: No. That's not true. You also said that you didn't want to die. The truth is… I hated you. I wanted you out of the way. I wanted my life back.

For the sake of clarity and because I don't want to blindside anyone: James murdered his wife.

The game doesn't specify whether or not the act was premeditated, but it's fairly straightforward in conveying that James grew increasingly depressed, hopeless, and resentful during the three years between Mary's terminal diagnosis and her death. After killing Mary, James took her body to Silent Hill with the intention of committing suicide there. Shortly before his arrival in Silent Hill at the beginning of the game, he suffered a mental breakdown and repressed his memories of the murder. He spends much of the game's story in deep denial, but he's fully aware of what he's done at the canon point I typically play from. 

The actual wife-murdering is unlikely to come up in most threads (for obvious reasons), but James' resulting guilt and self-loathing bleed into nearly all of his interactions with others. He also struggles with suicidal ideation, and his behavior reflects that. I'll always strive to treat these topics with the sensitivity they warrant, but I understand if people prefer to avoid them.

If you would like to opt out of interacting with this journal for any reason, please leave a comment on this entry. Comments are screened.

CODING

𝙸𝙽𝙵𝙾𝚁𝙼𝙰𝚃𝙸𝙾𝙽

		
				THE BASICS
			
				NAME. JAMES SUNDERLAND

				AGE. 29 (OG), 30s (REMAKE)

				HAIR. BLOND

				EYES. HAZEL

				HEIGHT. UNREMARKABLE

				BUILD. AVERAGE

SETTING. MAINE, USA. 1994.

				CANON. SILENT HILL 2

WIKI. HERE

OOC INFO

					NAME. E. C.

					TIMEZONE. GMT -6

					CONTACT. VIVISECTOR @ PLURK or pm

				BIOGRAPHY
			
CW: terminal illness, death of a spouse. For a full list of content warnings, click here.

He never meant for it to turn out this way. 

He just couldn't watch her suffer. 

He has no one to blame but himself.

James Sunderland only ever wanted a normal life. He married his sweetheart, Mary, and settled down to plan a white-picket-fence future: house, kids, grandkids. Those hopes died when Mary got sick. She never got better. Terminal, the doctors said.

James spent the next three years trying and failing to cope with his situation. He muddled through life in a grief-stricken fugue until the day he received a letter written in Mary's hand. The letter beckoned him to their "special place:" a resort town called Silent Hill. He and Mary had once made happy memories there.
 
He returned to find a warped reflection of the town he remembered. As he searched for answers, his recollection of the events surrounding Mary's death slowly began to unravel.  The further he ventured into the town's nightmarish depths, the closer he came to facing the truth. ■

				FIRST IMPRESSIONS
			
			At first blush, James comes off as affable enough. Though introverted and reserved, he can maintain a façade of normalcy during superficial interactions. If the conversation goes beyond small talk, then the cracks in his mask will likely begin to show through. He has trouble maintaining eye contact, and his blunted affect causes him to come off as distant, even dissociated — as though he were just going through the motions of conversation and reciting the lines that he thinks he's "supposed" to say. ■

				PERSONALITY
			
			James is a man of many defense mechanisms. The most prominent of these is denial. He will go to great lengths to avoid confronting painful emotions and situations. These avoidant tendencies sometimes manifest in the form of callous – even cruel – behavior. Mired in repression and shame, he tends to avoid self-reflection whenever possible. He has trouble recognizing and expressing his feelings, often to the detriment of his relationships with others. 
 
His reflexive response to conflict is to shut down and withdraw. While normally passive if antagonized, he's prone to occasional angry outbursts that are both unpredictable and seemingly irrational. He prefers to avoid talking about himself in detail, and he usually deflects or outright ignores prying questions. In spite (or because?) of his efforts to keep other people at arm's length, he is an intensely lonely man.
 
At his core, James believes that he is a fundamentally bad and irredeemable person. He has some fairly compelling reasons for feeling this way. Nevertheless, he's capable of greater selflessness and courage than his shortcomings might suggest. He feels protective of those who can't defend themselves, especially children, and he's willing to put his life on the line for them. However, this altruistic streak tends to falter when it's time for emotional heavy-lifting. He'll fight a monster for you, but he won't go to therapy with you. ■

				CANON POINT & ENDING
			
I default to a late-game or post-game canon point, with James having already watched a certain video tape and learned the truth about Mary's death. I portray James as being on a trajectory to get the Leave ending. I incorporate both the original and remake canons into my portrayal, but I usually default to the original whenever the two directly contradict. ■

		CODING

𝙿𝙴𝚁𝙼𝙸𝚂𝚂𝙸𝙾𝙽𝚂

				
				IF YOU REALLY WANT TO SEE MARY, YOU SHOULD JUST DIE. 
 BUT YOU MIGHT BE HEADING TO A DIFFERENT PLACE THAN MARY, JAMES.

			LOOKING FOR

			Angst and tragedy. Explorations of guilt, redemption, and what it means to carry that weight. Damaged people making each other better (or worse). Anyone patient enough to put up with the world's saddest sad sack as he unpacks years of repression and guilt. Anyone brutally honest enough to tell him to get the fuck over it. Unscrupulous characters who'd like to take advantage of a man at his lowest point. Other bereaved people to commiserate with (at least until certain facts come to light...). Horror scenarios of all kinds.

Cross-canon, cross-medium, and OC friendly. Characters from Resident Evil, Dead by Daylight, and other horror canons are loved. Note that the above list is non-exhaustive, and I'm generally happy to make something work even if I'm not familiar with the canon. Since Silent Hill's brand of horror is fairly grounded and psychological, I can easily insert James into AUs with no supernatural elements. I'm also willing to nudge his timeline earlier or later (anything from the '70s to the present day, give or take).

			OOC PERMISSIONS

			■ PACE. Variable depending on RL responsibilities, but I try to get back to tags within a few days at the most. It's always okay to let me know if you'd like to handwave or continue something.

			■ STYLE. Default to brackets, but I'll switch to prose if preferred.

■ BACKTAGGING. Always!

■ THREADHOPPING. With discussion.

■ FOURTHWALLING. No.

■ CONTACT. VIVISECTOR @ Plurk or PM.
			
			IC PERMISSIONS

			■ FLIRTING. Go for it, but expect anything from a complete nonreaction to confusion/annoyance. If he's into it, he'll likely get flustered.

			■ PHYSICAL AFFECTION. Sure, with the caveat that James is simultaneously touch-starved and touch-averse, so don't expect him to react like a well-adjusted person would. He'll probably freeze up or pull away unless he trusts the other character. With significant CR, he may clumsily attempt to reciprocate. 

			■ PHYSICAL VIOLENCE. Absolutely. Rest assured that he deserves it. Note that drawn-out fight scenes are not my strong suit, so please give me a heads up if you want to go in that direction. James is not a trained fighter, but he can defend himself if pressed.

■ SHIPPING & SMUT. Okay with both, but it's not expected or required. Preference for M/M, but I will also write M/F and M/NB. I'm open to shipping James with most of the the Silent Hill cast, excluding Alessa, Angela, Laura, and Heather (though I'm happy to have platonic CR with these characters). I'm very much down for cross-canon ships as well. Not interested in shipping or sexual content involving any characters under the age of 18. Kinks listed here.

Note that James carries a great deal of emotional baggage from his marriage and is still in the process of grieving, so any relationship will be extremely slow burn. I should also note that James is from the '90s, and while I don't view him as especially homophobic for the time period, it's a safe bet that any potential same-sex relationship will come with some gay panic of the 'but we're both men!!!' variety.

■ POWERS & ABILITIES. None. Normal human. He has no means of defending himself against mind-reading/mind-control/etc, but he will react extremely poorly if any such abilities are used on him without his consent.

■ OFFENSIVE SUBJECTS. Illness, dead loved ones, any accusation that he wanted his wife out of the way or is glad that she's gone.

	CODE BY

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CODING

(no subject)

There's a name inscribed on the tombstone. James Sunderland.